Asia’s Mental Health Journey

Hello, my name is Asia Renee Adair, and this is my story.

I can manage to remember back as far as third grade of being prescribed a drug known as Adderall for ADHD. Before I go any further, I need others to understand that Adderall is a suppressant. Not only was this medication suppressing my emotions, but I was taking it during the most critical stages of my life; the time when I find myself, who I want to be, and the peer group I want to associate with. 

I continued to take this medication until my 18th birthday, when I stopped taking it suddenly instead of progressively working it out of my system. What I didn’t understand, at the time, was the effects I was going to have from not taking the medication any longer. My body started producing its natural hormones but was going through withdrawal from Adderall. All my emotions were heightened, and my parasympathetic nervous system was in continuous overdrive. At this point, I had gone so long taking the medication that I didn’t know how to control or respond to my naturally occurring emotions. 

Depression, anxiety, and lastly, panic set in over the years and I no longer understood what reality was and what was not. What I created in my mind and what was in front of me. Every day to every other day consisted of panic or anxiety attacks. My emotions were so heightened I no longer wanted to feel them anymore, so as an outlet I would cause pain to myself, whether that was banging my head against the wall or taking a pen to my leg. All I knew was that I couldn’t continue living life, killing myself from the inside out. (A hyperactive parasympathetic nervous system can result in health issues). This awareness brought to my attention that I had to make changes within myself and in my life, but most importantly, it brought to my attention that I wanted to LIVE. 

Stay tuned for next week’s blog post which will be speaking on my healing journey.